1

Seven Day Book Challenge – No 7: Winter Hours

Book Number Seven: Winter Hours – Prose, Prose Poems, and Poems by Mary Oliver

(Published by Houghton Mifflin Company, 1999)

annedegruchy.co.uk image: Book Cover - Winter Hours

I was introduced to this book, and to Mary Oliver, by an American friend. Since then I have read a lot of Mary Oliver’s work and every piece has been just beautiful – she is so engaged with nature – so observant – and her prose and poems are simple with a real love at their heart.

I love the varied material in this book. The way we get an insight into the author and her world and how she sees things. We watch as she is unable to clean the stairs of her house because a spider is building its web there, we see turtles travel to the beach to lay their eggs, we are allowed into the secrets of how she came to write her poem ‘The Swan’.

Mary Oliver talks about poems needing to have ‘sincere energy’ and ‘a spiritual purpose’ and I think these are the qualities that I love in her work. Here is gentleness and insight alongside the raw realities of life.

Just beautiful.

Advertisements
3

Seven Day Book Challenge – No 5: Quaker Faith & Practice

Book Number Five: Quaker Faith & Practice

(Published with regularly updated versions by The Yearly Meeting of the Religious Society of Friends (Quakers) in Britain)

annedegruchy.co.uk image: Book Cover - Quaker Faith and Practice

This book is both a personal indulgence and inspiration. The subtitle is ‘The book of Christian discipline of the Yearly Meeting of the Religious Sociery of Friends (Quakers ) in Britain’, but this does it no favours. Originally there were two books – one looking at the ‘Faith’ side, and the other at how this is ‘Practiced’ by Quakers.

But this is not dry or religiously heavy material. It contains inspirations and insights into the working of God/Spirit in the world from many people over many generations. If you want to know anything about Quakers, read Chapter One which contains 42 succinct ‘Advices and Queries’. ‘Take heed, dear Friends,’ says the first one, ‘to the promptings of love and truth in your hearts. Trust them as the leadings of God whose Light shows us our darkness and brings us to new life.’

I love this book. In here I can see how others have dealt with death and divorce, with politics and people who are very different from ourselves. In here I can learn how a ‘Meeting for Worship for Business’ might be conducted, or how the testimonies of Simplicity, Equality, Truth, Peace and Sustainability/Stewardship of our earth might impact on me. In here I am always redirected to the Light – the divine – that is at the heart of every person and situation.

There is an online version too. Do check it out at: http://qfp.quaker.org.uk/

0

Simplicity – how complex can it be?

Dear wonderful Online Blogging Community

annedegruchy.co.uk image: Keep It Simple

Over the last couple of years I have had the privilege, through an Eva Koch Scholarship at Woodbrooke, the Quaker study centre in Birmingham, to be exploring the Quaker testimony of SIMPLICITY. It has been inspiring, challenging and not a little complex!

I am now lucky to have the opportunity to share some of this rich seam of investigation, interviews, reading, experience and reflection through a weekend course at Woodbrooke entitled: ‘Exploring Simplicity’. The course will take place from Friday 17th – Sunday 19th August 2018.

If you are interested in joining us please do click on the link below. Both Quakers and non-Quakers are welcome. Financial contributions are sometimes available through Woodbrooke or through Quaker Area Meetings.

https://www.woodbrooke.org.uk/item/exploring-simplicity/

You can also read some blog posts that emerged from my personal research and exploration about Simplicity by choosing the ‘simplicity’ tag in the menu at the side of this post.

3

Transformation, faith and depression

Last Sunday I stopped by to pick up an elderly Friend from the residential home where she lives to give her a lift to my Quaker Meeting for Worship. Like many times before, when I arrived she was still in bed and feeling too unwell to attend. We talked for a while and she expressed guilt and sadness at not being able to come. As someone who regularly lives with bouts of depression, I heard echoes of this in my Ffriend.

When I got to Meeting for Worship I sat in the deepening gathered silence and reached for Quaker Faith & Practice, hoping to find a passage that spoke to the intense empathy, concern and emotion that the time spent with my Ffriend had evoked. It was clear that it was incredibly distressing to her that her body was wearing out before her mind and being were ready. I looked at passages on growing old and death, and at passages about depression, but I did not find anything that spoke to me. In a way the problem was that all the passages were too positive – too willing to look at the dark side but then counter with Light and acceptance.

For those of us who struggle with depression, sometimes there is nothing that we can do but, if we are lucky, learn to what I call ‘sit with it’. For me, the most positive outcome I can hope for during a period of depression is that I physically live through it and do not make any drastic decisions or changes during this period. Sometimes even having someone else to sit with you is no comfort at all. I did, however, receive a response to my wish to find something that spoke to me. Later that week, in one of the daily emails I subscribe to from Richard Rohr, he talked about what it meant to follow Jesus, and about agreeing to ‘…carry and love what God loves, both the good and the bad of history, and to pay the price for its reconciliation within [our]selves…’. He then wrote about trusting ‘the daily paradox of life and death as the two sides of everything’, saying: ‘We, too, can walk this path of welcoming disappointment and self-doubt, by “suffering” the full truth of reality. Our vocation is a willingness to hold—and transform—the dark side of things instead of reacting against them, denying them, or projecting our anxiety elsewhere.’.

God is found everywhere, even in deep depression, and learning to ‘sit with’ our feelings and experience can have a transformative power all its own.

Anne de Gruchy

Quotes taken from Richard Rohr’s Daily Meditation: From the Center for Action and Contemplation on Friday, June 1, 2018 – ‘Solidarity with the World’

This passage contains content adapted from:
Richard Rohr, Everything Belongs: The Gift of Contemplative Prayer (The Crossroad Publishing Company: 1999, 2003), 179-180; and
Eager to Love: The Alternative Way of Francis of Assisi (Franciscan Media: 2014), 22-23.

Copyright © 2018 by CAC. Used by permission of CAC. All rights reserved worldwide. http://www.cac.org.

0

Finding my ‘Few Concerns’

As those of you who follow my blog will be aware, I have recently been deeply involved in studying and facilitating workshops on simplicity – a theme that evolved because of the need to simplify my own life both materially and with regard to my commitments. The irony of the whole process has been the discovery of quite how complex ‘simplicity’ is!

Amidst all my research and reading, one of the pieces that stood out for me is the very popular excerpt from Thomas Kelly’s work as quoted in Quaker Faith & Practice:

I wish I might emphasise how a life becomes simplified when dominated by faithfulness to a few concerns. Too many of us have too many irons in the fire. We get distracted by the intellectual claim to our interest in a thousand and one good things, and before we know it we are pulled and hauled breathlessly along by an over-burdened programme of good committees and good undertakings. I am persuaded that this fevered life of church workers is not wholesome. Undertakings get plastered on from the outside because we can’t turn down a friend. Acceptance of service on a weighty committee should really depend upon an answering imperative within us, not merely upon a rational calculation of the factors involved. The concern-orientated life is ordered and organised from within. And we learn to say No as well as Yes by attending to the guidance of inner responsibility. Quaker simplicity needs to be expressed not merely in dress and architecture and height of tombstones but also in the structure of a relatively simplified and co-ordinated life-programme of social responsibilities.

Thomas R Kelly, 1941
Quaker Faith & Practice – Chapter 20: 20.36

So recently I have been thinking about this and trying to discern what the ‘few concerns’ are that I, myself, should be faithful to.

This is easier said than done. At the moment there are many strands taking up my time and attention and each one feels ‘right’ and important, yet I know I cannot sustain them all for much longer. For quite a while now I have felt the need to ‘hold’ these things until the time when it becomes clear which ones I should move forward with and which ones will drop away.

In no particular order, some of the key pieces of my life at the moment are:

• My paid employment. My job working with the local authority in a team responsible for implementing the Mental Capacity Act provision on Deprivation of Liberty Safeguards is important to me. I am part of a friendly team, and when I am in paid work I feel fulfilled and part of society. Paid work and its routine also tends to have a beneficial impact on my mental health. This is a temporary post, so I need to make decisions about what to do when it comes to an end next April.

• My writing. Always a mix of pleasure and discipline, I am well into writing my fourth novel with a lovely agent trying to find a home for my third one. Normally I do not try to combine full-on novel writing and a job, but with someone believing in me and championing my work, now is not the time to lose my focus.

• My family. My father continues to have a good slice of my time and attention as he settles into life in residential care. An unexpected knock-on effect of him moving close to me is the ‘Anne de Gruchy Bed and Breakfast Service for Relatives’ for people who want to visit my dad! It is lovely to see my family so often, but does not help with earmarking time to write or work. Amidst all this, I am trying to maintain the lovely relationship I have with my son.

• My friends. These are getting rather squeezed out at the moment – except for the ones who I land on for a week to use them as a base for a ‘writing retreat’! Most of my friends are long-standing and we are used to flurries of contact with some longer gaps when other commitments come to the fore. It is gold-dust to have such friends in my life. Local friends probably think I have just hibernated for the winter…

• My partner/boyfriend (cue argument re how to refer to your ‘other half’ when you are 57 and definitely no longer a ‘girl’!). It is lovely to have love and companionship come my way unexpectedly at this stage in my life, but I need to give it attention to flourish and there is that tricky problem of distance…

• Community. I love where I live. I want to contribute. I don’t have time to do this but could choose to work/write less and contribute more. And what if a move of area becomes appropriate because of the new relationship? Do I feel able to risk uprooting and starting all over again? Ditto for my spiritual life and connections with the Quaker community.

You see my dilemma! Part of me feels excited by all the possibilities, and a lot depends on whether I can get a publishing deal. In the meantime I am trying to save money against a possible gap in employment and looking forward to the opportunities that the New Year will bring. I will be running some more Simplicity sessions in 2018 and hope to introduce some creative exercises to aid discernment. I am hoping to listen to my own advice!

The one thing that is certain is that I need this list to be shorter and more focused by the middle of next year. Please do remind me if I haven’t shown progress by then, and please do share your own stories and ideas about the ‘few concerns’ that speak to you in your own life.

annedegruchy.co.uk image: Christmas wreath

MAD MOMENT

Well – I have just dyed my hair and it now has bright lilac and purple streaks! Will I ever learn?

MARVEL MOMENT

My ‘new’ man is rapidly becoming my ‘old’ man – still together and going good!

© Anne de Gruchy

4

Sharing my Spiritual Scrapbook

Today, at my Centering Prayer group, we tried out a different format. Instead of listening to some teaching on DVD we decided to bring a poem to share. We started with our usual 20 minute silent meditation then the four of us who were present read out poems or canticles that spoke to us in some way.

It was a moving time, and the most amazing range of poems and emotions were shared. Two that stood out for me were:

The Bright Field by R S Thomas
St Francis and the Sow by Galway Kinnell.

For myself, I shared a poem that my mother had once typed out and sent to me. It is called Under a Wilshire Apple Tree and is attributed to Anna Bunstone de Bary, date unknown. It begins with the following stanza:

Some folks as can afford,
So I’ve heard say,
Set up a sort of cross
Right in the garden way
To mind ‘em of the Lord.
But I, when I do see
Thik apple tree
An’ stoopin’ limb
All spread wi’ moss
I think of Him
And how He talks wi’ me.

Sharing this, I also shared with my friends the Spiritual Scrapbook that I have been keeping for 20 years. This is a very special hard-backed A5 book that my sister gave me when I had an adult baptism in 1997 (I had not discovered the Quakers then and was part of a vibrant Baptist church). My sister wrote an inscription at the front: ‘For your thoughts and special prayers’, and the book is very dear to me. I share some photographs of a few of the pages in this post.

annedegruchy.co.uk image: Spiritual Scrapbook Page

Over the years I have written or stuck into the book sayings, prayers, postcards and poems that have had special meaning to me. There are parts of Celtic liturgies that we used when I studied Contextual Theology, postcards of crosses at monasteries and in mud huts, spoken ministry from Quaker meetings, and many cards with prayers and poems sent to me by my mother when she was still alive.

My mother was such a special support to me, and her faith saw me through some very dark times in my life. I treasure every single thing she sent when I was down and she wanted to help me through. My biggest sadness is that in the last few years of her own life she experienced a crisis of faith. But my mother was a gardener, and God was very close to her, and I’m sure that God spoke to her through that apple tree with stooping limb even when the light of faith was dim.

    

MAD MOMENT

New man, new distance relationship! Watch this space!

MARVEL MOMENT

As above!!!

© Anne de Gruchy

3

Impressions from Taraloka

I have just returned from a mindful and meditative retreat at Taraloka – a women’s Buddhist Retreat Centre in Shropshire. Here, in no particular order as they say, are the things that made an impression or stayed with me:

◊ Watching the two fat black and white cats (Splodge and Mr P) hunting in the fields.
◊ Debating with fellow retreatants on the first night about how and whether we would be able to resist switching on our mobile phones for five days. Then, only 24 hours later, the whole conversation feeling totally redundant because I was so deeply in the moment that it seemed irrelevant.
◊ Birdsong (and then some…).
◊ Being able to remember most people’s names – something that I struggle with day-to-day even with one or two new people, yet alone 25. Maybe the answer is about being fully present and nothing to do with an aging memory after all!
◊ Finding a new floor-based meditation position that works for me. Feeling that connection to the earth. ‘There is a whole planet beneath you, holding you up.’
◊ The wonderful Fenn’s, Whixall and Bettisfield Mosses – bog, peat bog, and more bog – brilliant!
◊ Magnolia Stellatas in full-flower in the garden. Starry white blossoms in morning mist.
◊ Canal walks and bridges. Old metal mechanisms, their purpose lost in local memory. Cogs and ratches, sluice gates and drains.
◊ Statues of the Buddha; shrines; Green Tara; sacred spaces.
◊ Feeling overwhelmed with noise and people (we were a biggish group).
◊ Feeling overwhelmed with peace. Dwelling.
◊ Body scans are deeply relaxing!
◊ ‘What we pay attention to is what comes into being.’ Counting our blessings, gratitude and appreciation, rejoicing in merits.
◊ Metta (loving kindness).
◊ Chitta (heart and mind together, reminding me of the Quaker exhortation to come ‘hearts and minds prepared’.)
◊ Realising that I am actually progressing with this meditation thing…
◊ ‘Body like a mountain, heart like the ocean, mind like the wide blue sky.’

annedegruchy.co.uk image: shrine to Green Tara           

© Anne de Gruchy